Thursday, July 31, 2014

Fear-Less

The rhythm of the year always reminds me, even if my mind seems unaware at first.  Getting ready for school (which begins this week) and the winding down of the summer break tells my brain that August 2 is rolling around again even when I am not looking at the calendar.  It always starts with the recognition that the day is approaching as we enter our summer break, and concludes with an abrupt awareness that the day is almost upon us.  This year finds me remarried to a wonderful man, who ironically enough, has his own heartbreaking memories connected to early days of august…but that is his story, and not mine, to share. 

What I find myself reflecting on today is that Todd would HATE August 2 to trigger these reminders of him.  He would want to be remembered for his life and not his death. And thankfully that is true…we do think of him 365 days a year…mostly with smiles and joy for the gift, but also with unavoidable sadness for the loss. So it is with August 2.  And thankfully, the new man in our life—Alan—totally gets that and doesn’t think any of  this takes anything away from our love for him.  He understands that love multiplies…it is fear and selfishness that constrain.