Giving Thanks Too

Again and again, I give thanks that my children have a wide and deep net of people who love them.  I am listening to them bicker (with each other) and laugh and play outside with one friend they have known since right after Luke was born.  This friend just told them if they didn't quit arguing she wasn't going to play the game anymore ;-)

It reminds me, once again, of the blessing of family and friends who love us in life-giving ways...who we can count on to bring out the best in us by encouraging the beautiful and not indulging the ugly.   

I am thankful that God holds me accountable in the same ways.  Although He can be quite tender with my stubbornness, He never shrinks from telling me what I need to hear when I am having a fit...or when I am hurting deeply.  Always speaking truth.  He does this to bring out the best in me, even if initially, I don't want to listen. 


He who ignores discipline despises himself,
but whoever heeds correction gains understanding.
Proverbs 15:32

This next one makes me laugh because it says it like it is.  I am sorry to say I have "been there and done that" on more than one occasion.

...he who hates correction is stupid.
Proverbs 12:2

Giving Thanks

Today is Todd's birthday.  I give thanks for the man he was and the beauty and strength of him that is in my children and that I carry in my heart. 

Love and Loss

 I heard angel laghter again tonight...it sounds just like little boys laughing and enjoying life together. I heard the sound of a boy's heart breaking too.  My little boy has sobbed himself to sleep because some of his dearest friends are moving--leaving in the morning. 

As they drove off tonight, big heaving sobs from my Luke as he waved goodbye, my heart settled into that in between place...between sorrow and joy.  This family has held our family these years since Todd died--picking up the slack many times in the beginning when I had  tasks to take care of that a little boy who just lost his dad shouldn't have to tag along for, and more recently when I have had to work at night.  Sleepovers with these 3 brothers and my son have been so full of laughter that my heart breaks along with Luke's as I think of tomorrow.  And their mom has been an angel in my life.  My heart is full to the brim with love, but so heavy with the heartache of loss.  I am thankful for the blessing of friendship. We miss them already.

Our prayers are with them as they travel to join their dad and grandmother who are suffering a great and sudden loss of their own. 

Muchness Returning

I feel my "muchness" coming back...I think I must have lost it for a long while, just like Alice (in Tim Burton's version of Alice in Wonderland).


Mad Hatter:[to Alice] You used to be much more..."muchier." You've lost your muchness. (Pointing to her heart.)

Later Alice has this to say as she steps up to her role of Jabborwocky slayer:

Alice: How's *this* for muchness?

 
I am glad I am getting my "muchness" back.  Todd--and many of you-- could have told me where I'd lost it, I am sure...but your "muchness" is just something you have to find for yourself.


For me, it definitely continues to be a process and not an instantaneous return. Somedays I am "muchier" than others...but I am trending in the right direction.  ;-)

Oceans

PS22 NYC. 

 
Absolutely Beautiful! 


Oceans (Where Feet May Fail)
Hillsong United

You call me out upon the waters
The great unknown where feet may fail
And there I find You in the mystery
In oceans deep
My faith will stand

I will call upon Your name
And keep my eyes above the waves
When oceans rise my soul will rest in Your embrace
For I am Yours and You are mine

Your grace abounds in deepest waters
Your sovereign hand will be my guide
Where feet may fail and fear surrounds me
You've never failed and You won't start now

So I will call upon Your name
And keep my eyes above the waves
When oceans rise
My soul will rest in Your embrace
For I am Yours and You are mine

Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders
Let me walk upon the waters
Wherever You would call me
Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander
And my faith will be made stronger
In the presence of my Savior

I will call upon Your Name
Keep my eyes above the waves
My soul will rest in Your embrace
I am Yours and You are mine

Through the Valley, 2

Song of Solomon which I linked in the last post has ministered to my heart in ways I can't fully articulate.  I  listened to the melody for several weeks, and thought that was quite beautiful, but it wasn't until I really paid attention to the words that I was totally overtaken by it...crying (sometimes very hard)  almost every time I replayed it.  But the tears aren't sad and despairing ones. They are more a mixture of sorrow and trust, and they come because the words so accurately reflect my heart's cry and  my desire to know the Lover of my spirit and soul responds exactly as these words depict.  In some unexplainable way, I am so very encouraged every time I hear it.

Through The Valleys

God's love for us never fails.  Even as the enemy of our soul rejoices as we walk through those dark valleys, the  Lover of our soul holds us til it is light.



Song of Solomon by Jesus Culture





Over the mountains, over the sea
Here You come running, my Lover to me


When I feel the cold of winter
In this cloak of sadness, I need You
Oh the evil things that shake me
All the words that break me I need You


Over the mountains, over the sea
Here You come running, my Lover to me


Do not hide me from Your presence
Pull me from these shadows, I need You
Beauty wrap Your arms around me
Sing Your song of courage, I need You


Over the mountains, over the sea
Here You come running, my Lover to me
Oh, through the valleys, through the dark of night
Here You come running, to hold me till it's light


I'll come running, I'll come running, I'll come running back to You