A friend sent me these two texts a few weeks ago.
I sat with her words…and then I cried. The tears were all mixed up, love and grief, sweet and bitter…mostly thanksgiving for what Todd shared of himself, but of course there is still so much tenderness there. I asked God to remind me of some of the times I got really mad at Todd, so I wouldn’t miss him so much. (Didn’t work, but it made me laugh to think it might.)
She quickly apologized when I told her I had cried that night-- but I didn’t want her to apologize. I agreed with her words. I told her it would be much worse if no one ever remembered him. I need my friends—our friends—to remember him to (with) me. I need to cry about the good (sharing life), the hard (sharing life) and the bad (the loss) from time to time. It’s cathartic. I hope it always will be. Strange, isn’t it?