Good Soil

(Jesus) told this parable: "…Still other seed fell on good soil. It came up and yielded a crop, a hundred times more than was sown."

…

"This is the meaning of the parable: The seed is the word of God. …the seed on the good soil stands for those with a noble and good heart, who hear the word, retain it, and by persevering produce a crop."

Luke 8: 8, 11, 15

Here is what I have been really struggling with for the last month: anger. It builds up like an electrostatic charge that must be discharged. The discharge is never pretty.

This morning during my quiet time, I had an image of Jesus operating a large tiller which was breaking up and turning over the hard ground (of my heart)—making it soft and fertile as He goes over the same patch several times. He has ear buds in his ears (maybe listening to music, but certainly muffling the sound of the tiller and my hollering and complaining) and a relaxed smile on his face as if there are no surprises.

Each time I felt a burst of anger today, I would picture Jesus and that tiller turning over the soil of my hardened heart. I could feel it in my chest, and it brought relief each time. There is still so much work to be done, but I want to be the good soil.

Mood Music

If Today Was Your Last Day (Nickelback)
http://youtu.be/lrXIQQ8PeRs

Lyrics by Chad Robert Kroeger

My best friend gave me the best advice
He said each day's a gift and not a given right
Leave no stone unturned, leave your fears behind
And try to take the path less traveled by
That first step you take is the longest stride

If today was your last day and tomorrow was too late
Could you say goodbye to yesterday?
Would you live each moment like your last
Leave old pictures in the past?
Donate every dime you had, if today was your last day?
What if, what if, if today was your last day?

Against the grain should be a way of life
What's worth the price is always worth the fight
Every second counts 'cause there's no second try
So live like you're never living twice
Don't take the free ride in your own life

If today was your last day and tomorrow was too late
Could you say goodbye to yesterday?
Would you live each moment like your last?
Leave old pictures in the past?
Donate every dime you had?

And would you call those friends you never see?
Reminisce old memories?
Would you forgive your enemies?
And would you find that one you're dreaming of?
Swear up and down to God above
That you'd finally fall in love if today was your last day?

If today was your last day
Would you make your mark by mending a broken heart?
You know it's never too late to shoot for the stars
Regardless of who you are

So do whatever it takes
'Cause you can't rewind a moment in this life
Let nothing stand in your way
'Cause the hands of time are never on your side

Sweet Baby Boy, Part 2 (very cute if I do say so myself)

The wind is not blowing in this picture...that is what his hair always did. People would recognize me in the grocery store as the mom with the baby boy who's hair stuck straight up. Honestly, his hair is probably responsible for more smiles and happy faces than most comedians get in a lifetime. I couldn't count how many times some one ran after me to tell me "I love his hair" with a big smile on their face.

In a way, it was just a birthmark for his personality! He has a buzz cut now ("like daddy's"), but his spirit still encompasses that waving hair. ;-)

Sweet Baby Boy

There is a scene in the children's movie, Tangled, where a group of ruffians in a pub sing about their dreams (for the future). These thugs sing about dreams of falling in love, becoming a concert pianist, being a mime, "etcetera, etcetera, etcetera" (to quote Yul Brynner in The King and I).

Luke was singing a line from the song--repeatedly-- one morning this week. When I realized what he was singing, I asked him, "so, what's your dream?"

He immediately answered matter-of-factly, "to see Daddy again." I guess I should have seen that one coming.

I usually write a post and decide on a title after I've written most of it. As I typed the words "sweet baby" in the title of this post, I suddenly remembered how I so often called Todd "sweet baby." It is funny how those kinds of things catch you by surprise…like you've forgotten them for a time. Today it all feels like a life time ago.

Wise Words

None of these are particularly good pictures, but I like them any way. I came across these as I was trying to clean up the clutter in my bedroom. I have found several clusters of pictures that I apparently carried around until I tucked them away in my room.

Todd purchased the Corvette as a "project" car when Caley was a few months old. He worked on it, off and on, and finally finished it when Luke was about 2. He sold it about a year or so before he died. When it came time to sell it, knowing how much time and energy he had put into rebuilding it, I thought selling it would be difficult for him, but his response was: "Never love anything that can't love you back." I thought that was an awesome response to the situation. I learned so much about grace-filled living from him.