PS22 NYC.
Absolutely Beautiful!
Oceans (Where Feet May Fail)
Hillsong United
You call me out upon the waters
The great unknown where feet may fail
And there I find You in the mystery
In oceans deep
My faith will stand
I will call upon Your name
And keep my eyes above the waves
When oceans rise my soul will rest in Your embrace
For I am Yours and You are mine
Your grace abounds in deepest waters
Your sovereign hand will be my guide
Where feet may fail and fear surrounds me
You've never failed and You won't start now
So I will call upon Your name
And keep my eyes above the waves
When oceans rise
My soul will rest in Your embrace
For I am Yours and You are mine
Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders
Let me walk upon the waters
Wherever You would call me
Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander
And my faith will be made stronger
In the presence of my Savior
I will call upon Your Name
Keep my eyes above the waves
My soul will rest in Your embrace
I am Yours and You are mine
Friday, March 15, 2013
Through the Valley, 2
Song of Solomon which I linked in the last post has ministered to my heart in ways I can't fully articulate. I listened to the melody for several weeks, and thought that was quite beautiful, but it wasn't until I really paid attention to the words that I was totally overtaken by it...crying (sometimes very hard) almost every time I replayed it. But the tears aren't sad and despairing ones. They are more a mixture of sorrow and trust, and they come because the words so accurately reflect my heart's cry and my desire to know the Lover of my spirit and soul responds exactly as these words depict. In some unexplainable way, I am so very encouraged every time I hear it.
Thursday, March 7, 2013
Through The Valleys
God's love for us never fails. Even as the enemy of our soul rejoices as we walk through those dark valleys, the Lover of our soul holds us til it is light.
Song of Solomon by Jesus Culture
Over the mountains, over the sea
Here You come running, my Lover to me
When I feel the cold of winter
In this cloak of sadness, I need You
Oh the evil things that shake me
All the words that break me I need You
Over the mountains, over the sea
Here You come running, my Lover to me
Do not hide me from Your presence
Pull me from these shadows, I need You
Beauty wrap Your arms around me
Sing Your song of courage, I need You
Over the mountains, over the sea
Here You come running, my Lover to me
Oh, through the valleys, through the dark of night
Here You come running, to hold me till it's light
I'll come running, I'll come running, I'll come running back to You
Song of Solomon by Jesus Culture
Over the mountains, over the sea
Here You come running, my Lover to me
When I feel the cold of winter
In this cloak of sadness, I need You
Oh the evil things that shake me
All the words that break me I need You
Over the mountains, over the sea
Here You come running, my Lover to me
Do not hide me from Your presence
Pull me from these shadows, I need You
Beauty wrap Your arms around me
Sing Your song of courage, I need You
Over the mountains, over the sea
Here You come running, my Lover to me
Oh, through the valleys, through the dark of night
Here You come running, to hold me till it's light
I'll come running, I'll come running, I'll come running back to You
Saturday, March 2, 2013
Laughter
I participated willingly in a new discipline this week...actually twice. I started at a prompting I felt deep inside...as this is a discipline I have never embraced--ever. I have done it before, but always with a bit of a bad attitude. Anyway...I felt prompted for several days in a row...maybe even a period of weeks...before I succumbed to what, I believe, was Divine prompting. I am not going to share the specifics because I tend toward pride, and I think sharing details would open me up to patting myself on the back with "atta girl" and before you know it, I would be leaving God totally out of the equation.
So many people I love seem to be suffering greatly--particularly in relation to their children. I have railed at God, off and on during the past months, about WHY is everything so difficult? Why is there SO MUCH PAIN in this world in general, and in family relationships in particular? My heart is so heavy as I think of all the families I know that are affected by extreme circumstances at this moment.
As I mentioned, I began this discipline because I felt prompted, and I thought it was a way to engage in prayer for one family in particular. But what I didn't realize was how it would affect me. I felt so close and loved by my Creator during the days I did this. I was able to maintain a joyful interior, which, I am ashamed to say, has not been my norm lately. But the amazing thing was that the very next day I had the first belly laugh I have had in 6 or 7 weeks. I laughed until tears rolled down my cheeks. I was actually laughing at myself (no surprise, huh?). I have such a knack for putting my foot in my mouth. Oh, I laughed and laughed and laughed. I said something REALLY stupid, and thankfully there was someone there to call me on it. I was trying to compliment someone who wasn't there, but it could easily have been interpreted as an insult to someone who was there. A third person present recognized this and made a joke....and that is how it all started. Two hours later I was still laughing. Now you may not think much of that, but I haven't really laughed or even smiled deeply for quite some time. It felt so good to let those flood gates down. It wasn't until I thought about it the next day, that I connected the dots. What a gift this was. Thank you, God.
So many people I love seem to be suffering greatly--particularly in relation to their children. I have railed at God, off and on during the past months, about WHY is everything so difficult? Why is there SO MUCH PAIN in this world in general, and in family relationships in particular? My heart is so heavy as I think of all the families I know that are affected by extreme circumstances at this moment.
As I mentioned, I began this discipline because I felt prompted, and I thought it was a way to engage in prayer for one family in particular. But what I didn't realize was how it would affect me. I felt so close and loved by my Creator during the days I did this. I was able to maintain a joyful interior, which, I am ashamed to say, has not been my norm lately. But the amazing thing was that the very next day I had the first belly laugh I have had in 6 or 7 weeks. I laughed until tears rolled down my cheeks. I was actually laughing at myself (no surprise, huh?). I have such a knack for putting my foot in my mouth. Oh, I laughed and laughed and laughed. I said something REALLY stupid, and thankfully there was someone there to call me on it. I was trying to compliment someone who wasn't there, but it could easily have been interpreted as an insult to someone who was there. A third person present recognized this and made a joke....and that is how it all started. Two hours later I was still laughing. Now you may not think much of that, but I haven't really laughed or even smiled deeply for quite some time. It felt so good to let those flood gates down. It wasn't until I thought about it the next day, that I connected the dots. What a gift this was. Thank you, God.
Sunday, February 24, 2013
Friendship
The shirt I have on is just a few months shy of 30 years old. It is a long sleeve t-shirt from the first spring formal I went to with Todd. (You know, in college, you have to have a t-shirt for everything.) My college roommate was visiting this weekend, and I put it on without thinking. She burst out laughing when she saw it, saying "You still have that!?" She is a friend of 30+ years...so she remembers these things. Can you believe I still have (and wear--around the house, of course) a 30 year-old shirt? It just plain shocked me when she said that number. 30 years. Wow. 30 years sounds so long, but to have lived it seems like almost a blink.
30 years ago, Todd and I began dating on February 23. Wow. It has been 3 1/2 years since his death. Those years seem long. How can 30 have gone by so fast?
I met a new friend for coffee the other day. Our friendship really only spans about 1 1/2 years, so I call that pretty new. She seems like an old friend though. Anyway...we were talking about friendships we have with people we rarely see. Friendships where the connection is so deep that it stands separate from time. You plop right down into them and they nourish you no matter how long it has been since you've seen them--no matter what life events have happened during the season of geographical and verbal separation...no awkwardness, just encouragement and nurturing.
I was getting ready to end this post with some smarmy line about hoping your life was scandalously full of these kind of friendships, when I realized that these relationships always have a cost. I know some who choose not to reach out and form new friendships because, to them, the cost is just not worth it. You don't get to the "deep connections separate from time" without experiencing life together. Every life-long friend I have has seen me through bad times as well as good. Honestly, I am kind of amazed I have any left after they had to walk with me after Todd's death. But they stuck around, and I am very thankful. Currently there is pain and grief in large doses for many of these dear friends. I am praying they know God holds them close (and will continue to hold them until it is light), and I am praying He will use me in their lives the same way He has used them in mine.
30 years ago, Todd and I began dating on February 23. Wow. It has been 3 1/2 years since his death. Those years seem long. How can 30 have gone by so fast?
I met a new friend for coffee the other day. Our friendship really only spans about 1 1/2 years, so I call that pretty new. She seems like an old friend though. Anyway...we were talking about friendships we have with people we rarely see. Friendships where the connection is so deep that it stands separate from time. You plop right down into them and they nourish you no matter how long it has been since you've seen them--no matter what life events have happened during the season of geographical and verbal separation...no awkwardness, just encouragement and nurturing.
I was getting ready to end this post with some smarmy line about hoping your life was scandalously full of these kind of friendships, when I realized that these relationships always have a cost. I know some who choose not to reach out and form new friendships because, to them, the cost is just not worth it. You don't get to the "deep connections separate from time" without experiencing life together. Every life-long friend I have has seen me through bad times as well as good. Honestly, I am kind of amazed I have any left after they had to walk with me after Todd's death. But they stuck around, and I am very thankful. Currently there is pain and grief in large doses for many of these dear friends. I am praying they know God holds them close (and will continue to hold them until it is light), and I am praying He will use me in their lives the same way He has used them in mine.
Saturday, February 9, 2013
More than Enough
Good Morning. Today I am reminded of the need to live in the present. To invest my best energies toward what is happening now. I am thankful for that reminder that came by way of a friend yesterday.
I have also been reminded of the powerful privilege we have to pray for one another, and how God is able to speak to us through the prayers and encouragement of others. I have been blessed as receiver of this gift all week. I honestly felt like I received radical heart surgery earlier this morning...radically changed for the better. And this change is way beyond ANYTHING I am capable of doing for myself. The beauty of it is that the heart transplant came as I was able to pour out my prayers, full of love, redemption, and peace for those on my heart. Amazing how that works. Amazing how He equips us to serve in ways we could never imagine. Amazing how He loves us in our triumphs and our failures. Amazing how He restores and refreshes our tattered and worn-out hearts...breathing His Life into our very beings.
Last night, I was surrounded by sweet children as my kids' oldest friends were at the house (along with their mommas). We gathered in a hand-held circle to pray for a particular family that is dear. The kids voices at the end, blessedly singing the Doxology, were more beautiful than words can express...I am sure if you had been here, your heart would have thought so too. "Praise God from Whom all blessings flow. Praise Him, all creatures here below. Praise Him above, ye heavenly host. Praise Father, Son, and Holy Ghost." Amen.
And the glory of the Lord shone around them...
Suddenly a great company of the heavenly host appeared with the angel, praising God and saying,
"Glory to God in the highest,
and on earth peace to men on whom his favor rests."
Luke 2: 9, 13-14
I want more, because He is more than enough. Regardless of circumstances. Regardless of how we "feel." Praying we all hold this truth closely in our hearts.
I have also been reminded of the powerful privilege we have to pray for one another, and how God is able to speak to us through the prayers and encouragement of others. I have been blessed as receiver of this gift all week. I honestly felt like I received radical heart surgery earlier this morning...radically changed for the better. And this change is way beyond ANYTHING I am capable of doing for myself. The beauty of it is that the heart transplant came as I was able to pour out my prayers, full of love, redemption, and peace for those on my heart. Amazing how that works. Amazing how He equips us to serve in ways we could never imagine. Amazing how He loves us in our triumphs and our failures. Amazing how He restores and refreshes our tattered and worn-out hearts...breathing His Life into our very beings.
Last night, I was surrounded by sweet children as my kids' oldest friends were at the house (along with their mommas). We gathered in a hand-held circle to pray for a particular family that is dear. The kids voices at the end, blessedly singing the Doxology, were more beautiful than words can express...I am sure if you had been here, your heart would have thought so too. "Praise God from Whom all blessings flow. Praise Him, all creatures here below. Praise Him above, ye heavenly host. Praise Father, Son, and Holy Ghost." Amen.
And the glory of the Lord shone around them...
Suddenly a great company of the heavenly host appeared with the angel, praising God and saying,
"Glory to God in the highest,
and on earth peace to men on whom his favor rests."
Luke 2: 9, 13-14
I want more, because He is more than enough. Regardless of circumstances. Regardless of how we "feel." Praying we all hold this truth closely in our hearts.
Sunday, February 3, 2013
This Side
There has been a tragedy in the life of a dear friend...someone I love very much. It is different being on this side. I want deperately to be able to share this load in a way that will help diminish the gutting pain which comes with heartbreak and uncertainty, but I know it really just can't be. All I can do is walk beside in companionship--praying, praying, praying--remembering the strength and comfort received from knowing people are holding you close in their hearts continually praying on your behalf, especially when you have no words for your own prayers. Also remembering that His Light can pierce even the darkest darkness when our eyes are swollen shut from weeping.
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