This was a difficult weekend. Actually it's been a extraordinarily difficult few weeks. It feels a little like my heart is being ripped up and trampled on all over again. I love my new home, but I still miss the old one (where we lived very happily as a family of four) and all its good memories. I haven't really wanted to do anything much, but there is much to be done. Some days it has been very easy to slip into a pity party, but for the most part I'm just sad. I know a lot of it is being hammered with the many decisions that must be made...decisions that Todd and I have always made together. I have had a lot of help, and for that I am sooooooooooo thankful.
I am still not totally moved out. Each time I go back to the house, I am assaulted by emotions as I look around at a home that is clearly not lived in any more, but is not yet empty of the things that once resided in a cheerful household--and I know that no matter what I do I can't reconstruct it in another location...and to try, of course, would be unhealthy. Making healthy emotional choices is sometimes a real struggle and sometimes not so much, but that was pretty much true for me even before August 2. Overall, though, I think I am headed in the right direction, and everything I see in my children tells me they are too.