June 4, 2011
Today is the first day I have thought "I like my life"…I have experienced contentment, some joy and many triumphs during the past year, but I have never had a day since Todd died that I actually thought I "like" my life. Major, major…
The ironic part to me is that this thought occurred to me in such an ordinary moment. I walked out into the sunshiny morning (very warm already) to feed the cat (for which I am not particularly fond) as my son skipped down the steps toward the pool. My daughter (whose job it is to feed said cat) was still sleeping peacefully.
Do I wish Todd were here with me to enjoy this life? Absolutely. Are my circumstances any different than they were a week, a month or even a year ago? No. Can't explain it, but I am so glad something has shifted inside of me to bring about this change of outlook. Don't really want to talk about it directly, but I definitely wanted to share…because I know you all have been cheering me on toward this day.