Aunt Shirley

Todd's Aunt Shirley died this week. Todd's folks lived overseas when we were dating, so I think I actually met Shirley before I met his parents. I immediately liked her. She had a beautiful smile and was easy to talk to. She loved Todd much, and, of course, she was heartbroken like the rest of us when he died. For my kids, she has been another connection to their daddy. She would tell them funny stories about their daddy and his cousins (her 2 boys). In my mind, I can hear her laughing as she recounted some mischief Todd, Chase and Eric had gotten into…or a story of some mischief she had gotten into with her big sister (Todd's mom) when growing up ;-)

The day she died, I had something happen that I know would have made her smile. I thought about it the following day, and it comforted me to know that she would have approved.

As I was getting ready to go to the funeral home tonight, I felt a panic rising up inside me. Just family and one set of close friends were gathering to spend time together and sort of say personal goodbyes…so similar to the gathering we had 2.5 years ago…and the memories washed over me and I was scared I would lose it. I don't mind crying, but this wasn't the time for a total meltdown. It was okay though. I really felt Todd and Shirley both in my heart—in a good way. Almost like together they were holding us in their hearts with smiles, laughter, compassion (for our pain), and, of course, love.

The main service is tomorrow. I hope everyone there will feel surrounded by smiles, laughter, compassion and love.