Sometimes at the end of the day (or even afternoon), my brain is so exhausted I really have difficulty holding onto any train of thought…it is like there are explosions of chaos I keep thinking I should be able to reign in, but then I sort of forget why...it can actually be pretty unsettling. I know that sleep will help, so when this total brain fatigue sets in I try to hold it together as best I can until I can get to bed or at least close my eyes (and shut out all the sensory stimulation) for a few minutes.
Some days it seems like I am moving through a dream about my life. I am talking and doing and smiling, but at the same time I feel this quality of "otherness" about everything (maybe "separateness" is a better word, I'm not really sure) …just like in a dream. On these days I feel like a shadow of myself.
I think often these kinds of days occur hand in hand. I'm not really sure which one is the catalyst and which is the result…sort of chicken and eggish. ..you know, do the shadow days cause the brain fatigue or the brain fatigue cause the shadow days? As I just wrote that I had the thought "the shadows definitely cause the brain fatigue." So maybe that is it.
I am not complaining…just telling. I wonder if some of you have days like this?