Thursday, July 15, 2010


I am better today. I am beginning to allow God to speak comfort to me again. …I had pretty much turned my back for the last few weeks…refusing to receive because…well, because I just didn't want to. Once again, the toddler in me rages for control.

I know the next month will continue with its difficulties since anniversaries abound. July 18 we would have been married for 23 years. August 2 will be one year since this nightmare became our reality. It is also the day I start a new job--one that I believe will be very good for me. A large part of my difficulty is not wanting to let go of so many things--wanting to straddle that fence of yesterday and tomorrow. I picture myself sitting with one leg on each side of a wooden privacy fence--holding on so tightly that I am hugging the fence…and it is very uncomfortable to sit there for long. I need a new picture. I am going to try to see myself walking through a beautiful field of wild flowers…with many flowers behind me and many in front.


  1. Love it!! I know a great place to make that wildflower garden a reality! Love you. D

  2. What a great thought....a field of wild flowers. I'll be with you every step of the way as will so many others. We are all looking forward to seeing the beautiful flower arrangements you will make!