Thursday, March 10, 2011

Bad Kitty

Warning: This post contains bathroom humor (although "humor" may not be the word I am looking for)…and there will be moments when you are sure there is animal cruelty on the horizon, but I assure you that I did restrain myself.

This morning we discovered the cat spent the night inside the car. I knew it would be bad…this is the same cat that cannot spend the night inside the house without peeing and pooping as soon as you let your guard down…that is why, when it is necessary for him to stay inside the house for the night, he is banished to the bathroom or laundry room --with the door firmly closed! I am done with litter boxes, so this is our compromise. But I digress… My daughter said "It doesn't smell, so I guess he didn't pee." I thought to myself "I just don't believe it." This is one time I wish I had been wrong.

We didn't have time to deal with it at that moment because we were getting ready for school. Of course, we were scrambling to get out of the house on time, and when my daughter jumped in the car she said, matter-of-factly, "I found where he went." (of course) It was right where she needed to sit, and there was no time to clean it up. Those of you who know me, know my car is rarely free of clutter –from kids toys, books and candy wrappers to junk mail and school papers that somehow find their way out of the backpack and onto the seat. The cat had managed to plant it on a "magazine" (according to Caley). Somewhat relieved and filled with hope that it wouldn't be too big a mess, we took off for school. (Caley now buckled in to the small middle seat after this entire conversation took place in the rearview mirror as I was backing out of the driveway.) When I returned home I found a much bigger mess than I had been led to believe…the "magazine" turned out to be a pamphlet, and I immediately realized this would be an involved clean-up. I had some cleaning supplies I had purchased earlier in the week still sitting in the trunk of the car, so I popped it to unload them. It took two trips to get it all, and I slammed the trunk closed after the second trip. When I went out to begin the first stage of clean-up —the soak-up—I decided to put (throw??) the cat out back and shut the garage while doing this. Did I mention it was freezing outside…but I guess when you are dealing with cat pee it is better cold than hot, huh?

Well, I call the cat and he doesn't come, so I decide he must have already gone out. I begin blotting up the mess and I think I hear something as I am doing it so I call to the cat, but no kitty comes. I decide it was the wind. I go back to the job…trying to use my weight to press the paper towels into the seat and soak up as much as I can before I spray it down with cleaner. I hear another small noise, and I call the cat again…no cat. From somewhere in the back of my mind I have the thought "the trunk! I am going to kill that cat if it is in the trunk!" I pop the trunk and IMMEDIATELY my nostrils are greeted with that HORRIBLE smell associated with….well, I will just tell you, IT WASN'T pee this time. That %%$$#@@*(!!**cat had been in the trunk for all of 2 minutes! As far as junk goes, my trunk is even worse than the inside of my car. I grab (yes, grab!) and toss him out, while I am muttering obscenities and trying to locate the source of this awful smell. I begin to take things out, and finally see the mess…neatly on a cardboard box top containing a toy that has been riding around in my trunk since I moved a year ago. I finished my clean-up both inside the car and the trunk…actually thankful that the cat had gone "neatly" on the top of the box. I did put (throw??) the cat out the back door, but I was amazed that I was able to laugh and be grateful for several things: 1 I didn't have to be at work this morning so I was able to come straight home and clean up the mess 2 The incident in the trunk was not worse than it was 3 I may have a "clean" car when this is all over 4 I was able to laugh about it to myself. Oh, and one more thing I was grateful for…the almost full ice cream drink my son spilled all over (and down inside) the other back seat was no longer smelling so strongly of spoiled milk!

1 comment:

  1. ...LOL This is why we don't have cats!!!! D