Lent has come around again. The predictable rhythm of the church year is a comforting accompaniment to life's unpredictable circumstances. In the Episcopal Church we consider Lent a time of preparation and waiting…a time of slowing down and drawing particularly close to God. During this time, we are preparing our hearts and minds to receive the joy of Easter…and acknowledging that Good Friday is the only way to get to Easter.
I have considered what I will do to mark this season of Lent… I wasn't even sure I wanted to mark it in any special way this year. I have the germ of an idea that I am trying to hash out…I want to be transformed in one area in particular involving my thought life…and consequently how it plays out in my behavior and actions. I am asking God to first, give me the desire to change in this area, and second, for Him to do the work in me. I am unable to do it on my own…and as I noted, I don't necessarily even have the desire to change even though I know this change would bring a lot of healing. I am not a passive observer/participant in this—my part is to lay this issue at His feet, "suit up and show up" and let His Holy Spirit move in and through me—redirecting my thoughts and attitudes as He does. It is not an issue of having enough will-power--it is an issue of trusting in His grace and mercy and great love for me and knowing His desire is to bring spiritual healing to every part of me. I sometimes feel so alone, but that is a lie. I am never alone.
And I can hear Your voice reciting
"I'm here. I'm closer than your breath
I've conquered even death
I am still here
And just like I was then
You can't remember when I was not here."
And I can hear Your voice inviting
"I'm here. I'll never leave your side
My stubborn weary child
I am still here
Please let Me lead you on
Your race is already won
I am Your God"
You're Here (words and music by Leigh Nash)