Thursday, February 25, 2010

Missing Todd

Things I miss about Todd:

I miss him walking through the door in the late afternoon. I would ask how his day went and as he hugged me or the kids, he would smile and reply "It's much better now."

I miss his laughter. When he found something really funny, his whole body was involved in the laugh. He would bend over at the waist and put his hands on his knees or sometimes one hand on the counter and the other fist in front of his mouth and just let loose...tears running down his face. He had a great laugh.

I miss watching him teach the kids about how to work on cars and motorcycles and all manner of other things...asking them to get tools and showing them how to use them.

I miss watching him make biscuits with the kids.

I miss watching him read to the kids.

I miss watching him play with the kids.

I miss sitting on his lap, putting my head against his shoulder and him wrapping his arms around me.

I miss watching the kids fly to him as soon as they realized he was home from work.

I miss seeing his face light up when we came to visit him at work.

I miss him telling me "You're my rock."

I miss him telling me how much he loved me.

I miss him telling me I was beautiful.

I miss holding his hand.

I miss his kiss.

I miss his balance to me and my personality. He always said we made a good team, and I always agreed.

I miss how the kids would holler "It's Daddy!" and run down the stairs when they would hear the garage door open. (One of their friends who witnessed this on many occassions told her mother that she bet Caley and Luke missed hearing the garage door when Mr. Todd got home and that she guessed it was hard for them (C and L) to hear that sound now.)

I miss his encouragement, and his belief in me.

I miss him telling me "feed them fish heads" which was his way of telling me not to worry what anyone else thought.

I miss him telling me that I was a great mom and wife.

I just miss...him.

7 comments:

  1. Me too, sweet girl! I miss how he could get the kids attention with a quick whistle. I miss how he was the first dad out in the snow on "snow days" and that he would jump on the trampoline with all our kids. I miss seeing him tinker in the driveway on some big boy toy. His gentle manner and always politeness. I love the way he loved to pamper you with flowers and date nites or just holding the door or offering you a drink. What a great great man!! I miss him, too and think of him almost everytime our daddy comes in thru our garage. D

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  2. Oh Sus, my heart hurts so for you as I read your precious memories and can envision them like it was yesterday. I love you so much and am wrapping you tightly in prayer tonight.

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  3. Praying for you to never lose these sweet memories of him. Just praying that God brings more peace and comfort.

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  4. This is what a marriage should be.

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  5. This made me cry, it made me cry lots....but you know what,through the tears the positive thought was, that I had the opportunity to know this wonderful human being. This person who made my dear friend and her family so happy. This dear man that has left you with such happy memories will never be forgotten because of such special memories. I will strive to be the great person Todd is and one day people will be able to say positive, happy things about who I am. Love you girl.

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  6. Your words hit so close to home for me...I send you my prayers. I do miss all of those things about my Lance. He and Todd may never have known each other but they sound a whole lot alike. I bet they have met though and maybe they are the real reason for our connection. I miss so much about Lance and so I can truly relate to your pain. As Todd, he was a great father and i think that is the biggest pain for me. My children will miss out on so much that other kids do with their dads but also, Lance will miss out on the plans that we as parents had for our kids. Please hold onto God's strength as i do and each moment will seem easier.

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  7. Wish I were more tech savvy and could actually put the song on here - but here are the lyrics (from lyrics.com) I think Todd would appreciate this "Rock" song:

    Don't Wake Me by Skillet

    I went to bed I was thinking about you
    ain't the same since I'm
    living without you
    All the memories are getting colder
    All the things that I wanna do over

    Went to bed I was thinking about you
    I wanna talk and laugh like we used to
    When I see you in my dreams at night
    it's so real but it's in my mind

    And now I guess
    This is as good as it gets

    [Chorus:]
    don't wake me
    'Cause I don't wanna leave this dream
    don't wake me
    'Cause I never seem to stay asleep enough
    When it's you I'm dreaming of
    I don't wanna wake up

    Don't wake me
    We're together just you and me
    don't wake me
    'Cause we're happy like we used to be
    I know I've gotta let you go
    But I don't wanna wake up

    [V2]
    I went to bed I was thinking about you
    And how it felt when I finally found you
    it's like a movie playing over in my head
    don't wanna look 'cause I know how it ends
    All the words that I said
    that I wouldn't say
    All the promises I made
    that I wouldn't break
    it's last call, last song, last dance
    'Cause I can't get you back,
    can't get a second chance

    And now, I guess
    This is as good as it gets

    [Chorus:]

    Don't wake me
    We're together just you and me
    don't wake me
    'Cause we're happy like we used to be
    I know I've gotta let you go
    But I don't wanna be alone

    [Bridge]
    These dreams of you keep
    on growing stronger
    It ain't a lot but it's all I have
    Nothing to do but keep sleeping longer
    don't wanna stop cause I want you back

    [Chorus:]

    Don't wake me
    We're together just you and me
    don't wake me
    'Cause we're happy like we used to be
    I know I've gotta let you go
    But I don't wanna be alone

    I went to bed i was thinking about you
    'Cause i don't wanna leave this dream
    It ain't the same since i'm living without you
    'Cause i never seem to stay asleep enough
    I know I gotta let you go
    but i don't wanna wake up

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