Ugly Season

I am just emerging from what Beth Moore calls an "ugly season." Most of you would never know (or at least I don't think you would ;-) except that I am confessing it to you right now. I am glad it was relatively short-lived. Although I have acted badly, mostly I have allowed my thoughts free reign…and as Joyce Meyer says "Where the mind goes, the man will follow. " Joyce talks a lot about how we don't have to entertain every thought that "falls into our head." I won't be providing details, but I believe many of you can relate to this struggle too. I am a thinker…I am fairly logical and try to approach problems from many different angles in order to understand…this can be used for good--or not. (Todd used to say, "Your mind scares me." J . He also used to tell me he appreciated how I could offer solutions he had not considered.) I think it really depends on my motives. Do I honestly want to find the best solution to the problem, or am I looking for the solution that most benefits me? Of course the real truth is that the best solution will benefit me as well, although it might not be the one that brings me immediate gratification. It is difficult in these ugly seasons to remember that it is a very good thing that this life is not "all about me."